Healing Minds

I lived with an unhealthy mind for 38 years. It all began when a van ran me over at age six, and I went through my school years as an undiagnosed bipolar. As a bipolar, I had a lot of self-judgment and generally being hard on myself. I was unaware of the impact this was having on my body; I was unknowingly telling the body to attack itself! Then, I was diagnosed with two autoimmune diseases: Psosaris, a chronic skin condition characterized by red, scaly patches, and psoriatic arthritis, a type of arthritis that affects some people who have psoriasis. In my later years, I acquired another autoimmune disease: multiple sclerosis, a potentially disabling disease of the brain and spinal cord. At age 37, I lost the ability to walk, and half my body was numb. I was very stressed out and overwhelmed with life and had chronic migraines that would occasionally send me to the emergency room for treatment when my medicine did not work.

I thought this was my whole life, being chronically sick and disabled.

I read one day that a benefit of meditation was inner peace. I desperately needed inner peace. My mental health was terrible, and I had so much stress that my overall health was in decline. I was always wondering what else was going to go wrong.

Meditation, I realized, was my path to healing my mind, bringing a sense of relief and peace that I had longed for.

At first, I thought that meditation meant that thoughts would stop. When I began with a simple 5-minute practice, I was expecting the mind to stop. I would notice my mind thinking and say, "Stop thinking." Then, after a week of these mind games, I realized, "Wait a second, that is a thought chasing a thought!" If I'm aware of my thoughts, I'm not my thoughts!

After I stopped focusing on thoughts and trying to control them, I shifted my practice to learning to be present. This involved a process of noticing when I was lost in thoughts and gently bringing my attention back to the present moment. I discovered I was either lost in thoughts or fully aware of this moment. So, when thoughts arose, I would bring my focus back to my feet or some body part—the body is always here.

As I continued my meditation journey, I pondered a profound question: if I'm not my thoughts (my identity), then who am I? One evening, after a deep meditation session, I heard a voice within me say, "Perfect Spirit." This voice, which I interpreted as a manifestation of my inner wisdom or higher self, provided a moment of profound self-discovery. It was a reminder that my true essence, my 'Perfect Spirit,' was not defined by my physical or mental health challenges.

With this newfound understanding, I felt a surge of empowerment. I knew that my true self was not the damaged body and mind. I realized that all my health challenges were over. All sense of fear disappeared, and I knew everything would be okay.

It took my body 16 months to catch up to this healthy new reality. Today, I have no signs of disease or disability, no longer take medicine, or need my cane. Over those 16 months, this intuitive voice reminded me, "All is well."

My first step to spontaneous healing was learning to be present - fully here and now. I had no idea that being lost in the mind prevented me from being fully here.

What will be your first step in healing your mind? Let this be the beginning of your journey towards inner peace and well-being.